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The Real Story Behind The Healthcare Debate!

Behind the scenes of any great debate is usually a greater story struggling to be heard.
The Healthcare debate is no different.

In this corner....Weighing in at 12 sweat socks and hailing from Trousersnake, Ohio....House Minority Leader and Republican Senator John BOEHNER!

ANNNNND IN THIS CORNER....Weighing in at 16 ounces and hailing from Tubesteak, New York.....Democratic Senator Anthony WEINER.

Yahoo.com reported today that Weiner was under attack for his support of the health care bill, which will bring insurance to all the people who suffer from irritable hemorrhoids and have no way of seeing a proctologist. Boehner on the other hand, stood FIRMLY against the bill, stating that those assholes should pay for their own insurance. While usually an athletic supporter, when asked for further comment, he told reporters to "get bent". When reporters finally managed to ketchup to Weiner for a rebuttal, he explained....with great relish....that Boehner was being a real DICKHEAD. Weiner is, as a matter of public record...behind the people all the way. He is deep into the problem with America's buns, and frequently champions their cause with all the passion he can mustard.

As a result of his passion for the Healthcare bill....Weiner received a package in the mail. The contents of which could only be described thusly....

Contrary to popular belief, it was not Boehner's "Dick In A Box". No. It was a vicious attack by a contingent of the Senate known only as the Republi-CANS. Their motto being "Are you a Republi-CAN or a Republi-CAN'T...ya know...like that Palin chick..." While Boehner is said to be a part of this group and sticks out as the obvious leader, the group is rumored to be led by Senator Mariah Kuntz of Summer's Eve, Virginia. Sources close to the matter said that while it does smell fishy the way Kuntz has cozied up to Boehner, in the end...it was a perfect fit.

Kuntz is said to be keeping a stiff upper lip when talking about the attack on Weiner. In fact, it's pretty accurate to say she....clammed....up. She later issued a statement through her assistant which read : "Loose lips sink ships". Indeed!
I imagine Boehner was pissed that his group was blamed for this sticky situation, However, he has only himself to blame. The man may have a lot of stroke in Washington, but this is what happens when you go off half-cocked like that. As I find myself with my head bobbing up and down, I realize it is because I am subconsciously "giving the nod" to Boehner as the winner of this cockfight....or as Alex Trebek would put it....

WHEN IT'S A BOEHNER!

My advice to Weiner is to stop backing the bill and if someone grills you as to why you gave up support of the bill for people with sore buns in need of some free government paid for lubrication....Just remember....
(Editor's Note : No Democrats were harmed in the writing of this blog. None of the names have been changed to protect the innocent....but only half of this shit is made up!)

(link to original story which spawned this idea below)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/20100325/ts_ynews/ynews_ts1335